Mein Wochenende

Friday was good. It all started with school. I was a bit nervous, I had managed to forget to read a couple of pages from our German grammar book. Apparently I'm one of the very few who actually study a lot on my free time. However, German went surprisingly well. We got back our pop-quiz and I got 11,5/12 relying on my memory since I had missed some reading of the specific chapter. I hate seeing the 11,5. The reduction: I missed a n in "zeichne". So annoying knowing that you were half a point away from the full score. Oh well, not much to do about it now.

I've noticed something by the way! Lately, or since I started Uni, I've really been outgoing. I don't want to be the silent and shy one who seems weak and can't be independent. I want to meet new people, befriend them and not depend on others knowledge.


Friday night got a bit late. I joined Louise at the All English Society kick-off party. It was a lot of fun! Oh, the internationality! I liked it a lot, it almost made me want to leave my German course for English I instead. But I have started a new language, I have spent a lot of money for my literature and I shall push through. I like it a lot anyways so I don't have a very valid reason to quit, apart from the fact that the people from English I seem way more outgoing and friendly than those in my class.
The night started a bit stiff but as Louise and I were sitting on the sofas talking, three girls joined us and we all started talking. It was a bit funny when everyone was like "Yeah, I study English I too. I'm in group bla-bla. Which group are you in?" and then I go like "I actually study German." All of a sudden you hear the crickets chirping on a summer night... Haha, not really but it would've been funny! We were later joined by three guys who were previously sitting in the corner. One guy (who didn't study English I either - I wasn't the only one) was studying to become a doctor and the whole night when I saw him, I could only think of Raj from The Big Bang Theory. I left a bit early for work the next day.



Then at 6 am I sleepily force myself to work. The lack of sleep I had! Insanity...
The beautiful thing (which puts a smile on my face) was what greeted me when I walked out into the dark morning. I stepped outside the door and started walking by the fence and looked straight ahead. I saw a big fat blob of orange. It was the moon. It was so pretty, I felt slightly mesmerized. The moon was really a big pizza pie.
After work though, I met up with friends to see Avatar. All this yapping about Avatar. It wasn't as good as they said. But to lessen the blow, it's because I'm no Sci-Fi fan. The 3D-goggles (the ones on the picture beside) made my head ache after a while. 3D isn't that great either. Or else I think you had to sit closer to the screen to really like it and get the full effect. I remember when Ida and I saw Dinosaurs in 3D, we sat quite close so it was quite good. But now I've seen Avatar, so that can be crossed off my list. Not to mention contributed to the non-environmental friendly one-time-only 3D-goggles. Sigh...


Gestern, on my way home I saw the orange moon again. I wonder why it was orange?

Ich muß arbeite. Heute, ich beginne um ein Uhr. Das ist nicht toll...

Ciao!

(You can say Ciao in German. It's more of an Austrian thing though.)

I'm getting there...

I can see the end of the tunnel. I have soon reached my destination. I'm getting there! Slowly though, but still getting there...

I'm talking about my cold. Throat is 99% back, nose is unclogged, voice is still darker (if only it were in a suede, satin, sexy voice I wouldn't mind it at the moment) and my head is clear like it has always been.

I've done some major curing these past days. I refuse to be sick! Last time I was sick must've been around November and before that it was like 2 years before then. I had or actually have a good immune system! Or so I'd like to think...

I suppose last time my down fall was because everyone else was getting sick and I was babbling on about what a great immune system I had, I suppose I forgot to "knock on wood".

So.. tonight's amusement (since I've been so bored) was to record a new voicemail-message. If anyone's interested about that, haha.

Oh! By the way, for Habiba, you've got me really hooked on Day 26's song Heels. Haha, I can't stop listening to it and singing to it at work and on my way to work. I'm actually listening to it as I'm writing this. I'm not even a fan of R&B so I'm quite surprised that I'm this hooked on it!

For anyone besides me, you can listen to it here on YouTube. Maybe you'll get just as hooked on it as I have. I must say it makes me think about the 90's a whole lot. I keep thinking about Backstreet Boys, Westlife, N'Sync, Boys II Men, my Barbies and their Barbie house (haha, I don't know why though). Hmm, childhood - those were good times...


Ich will schalfen.
Nacht!

Escapade

The eyes that tear up when it gets too cold. The runny nose that needs dabbing with a tissue. The rosy cheeks that blossom when you get indoors. 

Walking home from the station in daylight finding yourself at home when it's dark, a walk that takes circa 7 minutes.

Fighting the winter winds by buttoning up your jacket although all buttons are buttoned.

The ice toes that takes 20 minutes to defrost. The fingers that burn when you enter warm spaces...

I'm so tired of this. This constant cold weather, I'd like to flee to a warmer country.

Take me to the beach or a carnival in Rio de Janeiro (although December-March might be a rainy period).

Dazzle me with the interesting city Tokyo. The gardens, the city, the people.

Let me explore the pyramids in Kairo. Enter mummy dungeons, see their city by night.

Come with me to beautiful South Africa. Whale watching in Cape Town or safari in Kruger National Park.

Or why not just be under the sun rays in Santorini. Take in the enviroment and feast on greek food.

Ich brauche einen Urlaub!

now please?

My shallow post and surviving Deutsch

This course is really intense. I mean really intense! 

Think about it; we're squishing in a 3 years study of the german language within a time span of 6 months. That's (if I've calculated it right now 36/6) six times faster than the original tempo. Actually it should be 4 years divided by half a year now that I think through it, so really 8 times faster than original. But it's okay, I can do it! I can do it because my interest for the language is big. I better do it and I better do more than well. First exam is on a Saturday at 9 am by the end of March. I've decided to ace that exam.

Apart from the suppressed pressure and stress that I refuse to acknowledge, I was surprised to find 20 filled pages of notes from only four classes (well I'd say three, since one of the classes was focusing on pronunciation and not many notes were taken then). I like it though. It's strange but I love taking notes (especially clean notes - I'm a bit of a pedant when it comes to notes, I like it structured and neat not sloppy). When I look through my note pad it's filled and crammed and structured. And it helps me remember and understand my notes a lot better, oddly enough. I'm so strange...

Either way, bottom-line is that I survived Deutsch today. The nasal spray kind of worked. At least the first hour until right in the middle of my conversation with Erik it seemed to turn back into a fountain. (Sigh!) To comfort myself, he seemed to also have a bit of a runny nose - unless I instantly infected him with my little cold. Hope not!

The glorious part (note my sarcasm) about being a girl is the constant pressure of looking your best no matter where you go or what you do. This pressure definitely doesn't lessen once you enter University and you see the potentials crawling all over the place (although we all know that that's the last thing you/I should care/be thinking about!).

Although I was not on my best appearance, I didn't feel so bad physically wise. Despite the unwashed hair, I managed to pull off quite a cute hair-do. Despite my runny nose (not to mention the fatigue eyes that comes along with the whole "having a cold-process") which should've been just as red as Rudolph's shiny nose, my make-up for once chose not to fail me.

Another thing that I remember, since I'm anyway talking about girls pressure to look good, was the old clothes that I found. I was desperate to find a warm cardigan and ran-sacked my mothers closet. I ended up finding a cardigan that I "threw away" from when I was 10 years old. Yes, it still fits me. I saw it's potential and thought to myself Why did I put this aside? It's gorgeous! I put it on and it still fitted perfectly. What made it better was my favorite necklace that I found.  It was my Owl-necklace which I hadn't worn since last year. The chain was rusty and broken but I managed to fix it so I could wear it again. Despite it's very worn condition, the rustique-essence (if you can say so) that it has caught is quite charming!

So... what I wanted to say with this stupid and shallow, not to mention self-absorbed, post was:

My german course is going okay and I'm snapping things up quick enough. I love to take notes and I managed to look good on the outside, although I felt like shit on the inside.

My owl.

Guten nacht!

Bincs.

My nose is a fountain!

Indeed it is true!

Yesterday I was studying or "studying" with Habiba and Louise at the University's library. Focus was perhaps nothing we really quite did. Or Louise seemed to focus well but Habiba and I were way far from focusing on our studies.

I believe I would've focused better if it weren't for my runny nose. It was literally a fountain and I ran to the bathroom every 15 minutes. You can't sneeze or blow your nose at a library. But at the same time; what was I even doing there being sick?

Towards the evening when we found ourselves at Habibas place, after a very yummy lunch and chocolate pudding dessert, the focus came and I got a lot done! Despite my runny nose...

Today I have class and I hope I hope I hope I hope(!) that my nose will cut me some slack and just NOT run. I can't sit and sound like a sobbing girl for an hour and forty minutes. It's embarrassing...

At class we're doing one of my favorite parts (probably because it's so simple) conjugations or the inflection of verbs. Once you learn that part of a new language you're almost set to go... sort of!

Here's a look from yesterdays notes:

                        

Now I'm off to work to drop off a key and buy some nasal spray, hopefully it'll help me get through class!

Tschüss!

Todays music

Since I had nothing better to do I decided to share one of my playlists on my blog. This one is for when I study. Slightly calm songs and this list is good for a 6,5 hour long study. 

When I think about it the songs are slightly depressing but they help me study better. How, I don't know.

Another thing, that works when you study with music but end up getting hooked on the lyrics instead of your work, is studying with music by Mozart. 

Yes, the Mozart effect. Which supposedly was to be used when you were young to give the best result. I just find calm and soothing music as a more helpful tool to get me to focused and concentrated on my work.

Along with this post comes a picture. And a picture is worth a thousand words. 

This one is worth one: childish. 

My mood today...

Study playlist - without the Mozart effect.

One of those days/El salvador/Beautiful/Vehicles and animals - Athlete

Brick - Ben Folds Five

You're the storm - The Cardigans

Quelqu'un ma dit - Carla Bruni

Blackbird - Carly Smithson

The pills won't help you now (feat. Midlake) - Chemical Brothers

See you soon/Don't panic/In my place/The scientist - Coldplay

Colorblind - Counting Crows

This years love - David Gray

Photobooth/A movie script ending/A lack of color - Death Cab for Cutie

Half of the self titled album by Electric President

So sorry/Brandy Alexander - Feist

Heaven forbid/Look after you/Trust me - The Fray

Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

Half of the Anything else but the truth album by The Honorary Title

Over my shoulder - I am Kloot

Half of the In between dreams album by Jack Johnson

If you got the money - Jamie T

Stay with you/It don't have to change feat. The Stephens family - John Legend

The Acrobat - Johnathan Rice

Half of the We were here album by Joshua Radin

Grace - Kate Havnevik

Manhattan/Revelry/Cold desert - Kings of Leon

Lady Stardust - Lisa Miskovsky

Time flies/My love/Hanging High/Dance dance dance/Let it fall - Lykke Li

Fade into you - Mazzy Star

The war (piano version) - Mêlée

Blame it on the Tetons/One chance - Modest Mouse

We all have a map of the piano - Mum

Inside of love/If you leave/Always love - Nada Surf

Half of the Musicforthemorningafter album by Pete Yorn

Hurley/Loro - Pinback

High and dry/Karma police - Radiohead

Grazed Knees - Snow Patrol

Let that be enough - Switchfoot

Winning days - The Vines

After hours - We are scientists

Say it ain't so/Island in the sun - Weezer

Forever Young (remix) - The Youth Group

~~ ~~

time to study!

Mr.J

For those who studied at the same time as me in Junior High. For those who had Natural Science in English.

We all remember Mr.J...

"Men are not apes. Apes are smarter. MR J"

Found in yesterdays newspaper, could it be him?

Ja, ich studiere Deutsch!

Guten tag, meine Freunden!

Today I had my first day and class at University. I'm studying intensive german!

I got a bit of cold feet yesterday before going to bed. Incredible how you still get nervous about the same things that you were nervous about in primary school!

Either way, my class is quite mixed and it's hard to say if you'll click with anyone at this precise stage. Hopefully I'll make a couple of good friends so I don't end up as a black sheep...

I've just finished ending a post about my incident at work last sunday. It took me about an hour to write it down (haha, reminds me how two friends said that my blog posts are more like books - so looong). Unbelievable amount of time! The strange part; I didn't cover all details, there's still more to be told but I can't be bothered to write anymore. Apart from this post... I mean, I have to mention how my first day was, right? Psst! I swear - when I entered the campus, I've never seen so much eye-candy in my life!!! :P

Gosh sunday, what a hell of a day! I've never had to handle a situation as that one and I've never seen such lack of civil courage too!

Gute nacht meine Kinder! Ich muß studiere...

(I'm not sure if everything is right. I've only had one lesson so far...)

Art based on letters and fonts...

Something that really puts a smile on your face.

Something that is utterly brilliant.

Something that sets you in a slight "Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain"-mood.

This something is Type City...

So turn on the volume on you computer.

Click on the link beside: http://www.veer.com/ideas/typecity/gallery.aspx

And start your dreamy tour of Type City.

Une ville que je voudrais visiter...

When moist snuff isn't worth to die for...

Yesterday, I worked the night-shift with a younger co-worker. Since he's underage and has been working for a shorter period than me, I automatically have the responsibility. I, who usually worries about being robbed when given full responsibility, have finally begun to overcome that fear and begun to understand that I can't work with those thoughts. Isn't it then typical that yesterday, out of all days, my co-worker and I had a visit from 6 shoplifters. You might be thinking "Well, shoplifting happens to every store. It's not like it was a robbery!" but you are oh-so-wrong!

These shoplifters were 6 guys 10x my size (and I'm basically Betty Spaghetti so: sticks and stones will break my bones!) who shoplifted in front of my eyes. It wasn't even night and there were heaps of customers standing in line ready to pay for their groceries. They were quite discreet about it at first but when I noticed that one guys jacket-pocket started to grow, I had to be brave and make a move. I apologized to my customer and asked them to wait for a second. I walked to them and asked them if they intended to buy all the moist snuff (actually it's supposed to be snus since moist snuff isn't really like the Swedish snus. Here comes irrelevant info but did you know that it was the Swedes who brought snus to America which led them to make a version which they call moist snuff or spit/dipping tobacco? Anyways, back to the story...) and asked them to empty out their pockets. All six of them turned stupid and said "What snus? We don't know what you're talking about?" and as I crossed-my-heart-and-hoped-not!-to-die I started closing two gates to keep them locked in while calling for Securitas (a form of police-squad who back us up when needed).

In the moment of bravery, in the moment when other civilians see and know what is going on, I have 4 of these men barging through those gates and up my face saying in a low threatening voice "What do you think you're going to do?".

In that moment of fear, in that moment of realizing what could happen if I (Betty-Spaghetti) tried to interfere even more than I already did, I decided that the snus they had wasn't worth endangering myself for. I backed off - with shaken bones...

With shaken bones, I run for the telephone to try and call for back-up. With shaken bones I look at our customers, where the majority were men who didn't have the guts to help a defenseless girl like me fight off six shoplifters 10x my size, and was disgusted by them. Where is the civil courage in this country, in this world?

What drove me to basically insanity/madness was our bullshit of security. I phoned them for more than 20 minutes - and nobody answers. Hello!? Do we sleep at work now??? The first guy that answers tells me it's his day off. And when I ask for guidance about who I could otherwise call, he simply answers in a monotonous tone I don't know. WTF!?

So then I call the next and last number hoping for help, and another man answers. Lucky enough (or so I think) he's on duty BUT! the guy didn't understand what I said in swedish!!! SWEDISH! The language of the country we live, work, eat, sleep and die in! So he asks me to take it in english instead. I do and when I'm done he says that he still didn't understand. He didn't even understand the most international language which pretty much everyone knows and can speak! Instead he puts a young girl on the phone who was supposed to translate what I said... How ridiculous wasn't that? And all I could think was: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET YOUR JOB!?!?!? (I know, I'm a total bitch when I'm mad...)

I try reaching my boss and his wife for help but neither of them answer any phone number that they've posted on the Information board. So I ended up calling the one person I knew could help me, Helen (my co-worker). The only person who I can count on in time of need, the only person (except for Bosse) who seems to know more than our boss and his wife does!

Two hours after the incident when I try to get things flowing on as usual and try not to blame myself for everything, Securitas calls. How convenient now that the shoplifters (I'd like to say robbers) are far away and untraceable... Ignorant fool, asks me if everything is fine. I answered coldly and bitterly in a "if-a-voice-could-kill": It is now, but it wasn't for two hours ago! (Like I said, I'm a total bitch when I'm mad...)

The guy comes over after 20 minutes to check on the videotapes, and although he was really hot (I'm messed up, I know!) I still decided to be the same bitch that I was on the phone. Naturally, he prefers to talk about the situation with my younger co-worker, who - may I refresh your mind - wasn't the one with all the responsibility (and he's like 16 years old, just a kid! I count already as an adult! Going on 20! Hello!?), so really he should've talked to me about it. Perhaps it's because I'm a girl that he felt that only men could handle these things (do I smell sexism here?).

It's funny that the whole incident hasn't scared me off. That those men didn't scare the living daylights out of me so that I refuse to work again - instead, it pissed me off!

Why should these things have to occur? Why is there no civil courage? Why is the whole security and actual police system so fucked up?

Ridiculous habits

I am so tired of doing unnecessary things! I am so tired of my stupid habits which make me inefficient. For example:

• my optimistic perspective on time which always gets me late.
• my diminishing self discipline.
• my lack of motivation in life.
• my "too soft" side that tries to please everyone when really, I don't have the energy for it!

But most of all! I hate my habit of talking endlessly (as well as texting endlessly) on my cellphone. Seriously, it's like become a problem. I need to cut down on it! There are other ways to communicate...

I just really need to get the bill down since my last three bills have crossed the 1000sek-limit, basically a very big price to pay. And I hate to admit that my mom is right, I spend way too much time on the phone. Now I can really understand why she gets as mad as she does. It's like talk is all I do.

A little confession:

half of the sum from the bill were the costs from surfing the internet (facebook-addiction) via cellphone. Bad Bianca!

So my new goal for the next bill to come:

"Stop surfing via cellphone and try to diminish the costs to below 500sek."

Think I can do it? I don't...

Nostalgia - with a stupid ending

I miss

...the times I had at Junior High. School, family and friends. It was all simple.

...the times my passion for piano was strong. When it would itch in my fingers of abstinence.

...the time when my mum was happy with her ex. They reminded me what a "complete" family felt like - filled with warmth.

...the warm and tingly feeling of sun rays touching my face. It usually gives me a nice chill down my spine.

...the excitement of being in a foreign and exotic country. Traveling in general.

...hanging out, having barbeques with good friends on hot summer nights. Talking past midnight.

...the very long car drives to other places. Looking out the window when it's dark, while listening to Electric President.

...then, stupid as I am, I actually miss the way "Mozart" made me feel. As well as the few conversations we had, although they weren't quite special (and now I'm mad at myself for being stupid enough to miss it).

3:20 is my favourite part...

Amateur photography, if not worse...

So I was bored the past hour and decided to go out with my iPod and camera. I took pictures of what I find beautiful now when it's winter. I love to see the massive amounts of snow on trees and bushes. So I tried to work out how the functions on our camera works and tried to take as good pictures as possible. Here they are:

My favorite tree in our neighborhood.

Close up.

I've been listening a lot to Owl City's Fireflies and I've got to say that the first time I heard it I could've bet all I own that it was the Postal Service. Guess I was wrong... Or else I must've missed the big picture. But they sound very alike.

Registration and change

Finally life got a bit more exciting!

Today I'm going to the University to register myself. I can't believe that I'm finally studying again! I'm still working though, my work shifts blend in with my schedule so no problems will occur (I hope).

I'm quite eager to start. I start next week and I'm already excited to meet new people. I wonder how my class is?

I also wonder if I've forgotten how to study? The past 6 months I've been working and the three years before that I've been practicing, so basically none of it are similar in style as studying is. Or?

And with the University, there comes change! I have to stop going to bed so late and I've got to grab myself by the ear and get motivated. Get a little change in lifestyle. Get disciplined.

I've been quite unmotivated for a while and apparently a nutrionist said that it was due to a bad lifestyle.

So my lifestyle for the past 6 months:

Eating quite unhealthy, no exercise, always going to bed after midnight, stare at the TV, work work work, practice piano in the last minute, always waking up at 9 or 10 am (if not later!), stressing because of my laziness, getting stiff shoulders, most of the time I'm out with friends returning home when it's quite late, getting very unmotivated about life, etc etc...

...I think it's time to change and get more active. Not to mention motivated.

The last lesson

Yesterday was my last piano lesson.

I don't know how many last piano lessons I've had, I think it's about 3 if not 4. 

When I left my first piano teacher (actually, it was my teacher who left me because she was moving out of the country with her husband) I cried my eyes out for more than a day. She was the one who taught me the basics, who introduced the exciting world of classical music. She was my inspiration, and musical idol. She was also like a sister, not only because she was quite young but her way of teaching and connecting with you was on a different level than my other piano teachers. My mother comforted me as I was crying the day before our last lesson, all her comfort was to waste since nothing helped me realize and accept what was happening.

I went for another teacher but quit quite hastily. She wasn't bad, she just wasn't the same teacher as the one I missed. With that came the gap year(s) when I refused to play. But after a while I noticed that I missed playing the piano, so my mother found me another teacher. A horrific one! After two years, I decided to leave her for another. Leaving that piano teacher was easy, it was a relief since she was quite a witch...

And just as I found and thought it easier to leave piano teachers behind me, yesterday wasn't all too easy. The teacher I've had for now three years, who forced me to learn many new techniques from scratch and who repaired me from my previous witch for a teacher, was hard to leave. I didn't expect that I would feel as sad as I did, but I did and it wasn't easy at all.

I'm quite emotional in that sense. I hate leaving people, I hate seeing people leave (the whole goodbye-process) - I'm like a herding dog who likes to keep her flock of sheep together.

I suppose piano teachers (to me) are like second mothers (or if it's a male, fathers). They're like the ones who bring you in ("give birth", if you'd like it in a more metaphorical way) to the musical world. They raise you with their techniques, they feed you with their knowledge, they participate at each stage you enter and each choice you make with their support, they guide you towards the right directions with their experiences, they care for you emotionally in other aspects than your piano playing because of the bond that subconsciously has been formed (probably from all the heart-to-heart talks), they treat you as their own - they're like the wind beneath your wings. A second parent.

(Sorry! Last line got cheesy, made me start hearing Bette Middler singing Wind Beneath My Wings in my head.)

All I wanted to say was; I'll be missing her and my piano lessons in her studio from time to time...

Mum's thoughts about moving and Pakistani food

My mother saw an add in the newspaper about newly built apartments. Over the years that I've grown up, I've gotten very used to hearing her mention that we'll move out of our flat. Over the years, I've probably gone to more house viewings than necessary.

At the start I was always keen and excited about going to viewings with hopes of actually moving, but nowadays I've learnt not to hope about it and I've actually been focusing more about moving out and living on my own.

Why mother wants to move is only due to one fact: my dad. A fact that is to be left in the past. A fact which causes problems. A fact which isn't a part of both of our lives anymore. A fact which I fully understand and fully support. Have mentioned yet how much I've wanted to move out too?

We saw a gorgeous flat which was open and spacey (which my mother loves), and very modern (which I love). It seemed perfect! The price was high but it seemed reasonable, and what made it so reasonable (what actually drove my mother to view it) was the offer of 3 years off rent. Not a bad bargain. And for my mother it would mean 3 years to pay back loans (if they were needed to be taken, which I think they would...) but most of all it would mean a new start for her, and I guess for me too. Although I can't help but feel that the bargain seems a bit fishy, like it's not really a bargain. Either way, this is probably just another viewing that won't lead to any further purchase - as always.

After that I went to my co-workers home. She was going to teach me how to cook some pakistani food, a special dish which she once made for me called Nihari. Definitely one of the most delicious dishes I've eaten. I watched and learnt how the dish was supposed to be prepared and made, and I will definitely try to be just as successful as her. What I missed (and what bums me out) is when she made the Nan-bread. It was so good! And I never got the chance to see how it was made, or learn how to make it. But I will some day.

Now - I love meat, I love stews, and I love sauces and gravies! Nihari basically fulfills all of those three criteria's. Of course I'm bound to love the dish then! Nihari is basically a stew with lamb legs. People usually don't like lamb and say that it tastes like a cardigan (that's what they say in Sweden anyways). But as long as the seasoning or gravy is a great match, then lamb is very underestimated! Like lamb racks, it's divine with sage-sauce or garlic-sauce (then there's actually a yellowish sort of sauce that was a bit salty which I once had which was the best one so far, but I can't remember the name - and no, it wasn't béarnaise sauce that I was thinking of although it's my favorite). Now the traditional Nihari recipes take 6-8hours while the modern way takes more or less 1 or 1,5 hours (not so bad compared to the traditional recipe). Nihari can be matched with Nan-bread (which I think is most popular) but also with spicy rice with chickpeas (mmm, chickpeas... AND rice...!).

Tip for Nihari: Sprinkle coriander as a last seasoning on the stew before serving and when it's on your plate squeeze out a couple of lemon drops before eating.

Before I stop writing, and while I'm so food inspired and my tummy's yearning for all of these delicious dishes, I have to share some tips!

• Spicy rice with chickpeas are very satisfying vegetarian meals (more than satisfying for me but I'm not a vegetarian, wouldn't ever consider giving up meat - I'm like a freekin carnivore!). To make it more yummy a la vegetariano I'd serve it with a yoghurt Raita. I think tzatziki would be great (I love my tzatziki!) and perhaps mango chutney goes well too, not sure though...
  
• Lemon rice goes very well with Raita too. Apparently it's even better with Poppadums!

Right then, this post got me hungry!

When a customer just doesn't get it!

At my last workplace I had various customers who were other than your average customers. Each and every one of them were different and interesting in their own ways. For example you had the students who lived at the campus close by. Take the asian students who sometimes spoke to me in their native language, with me looking like a question mark as they ask "You're not chinese?" Then the americans who were like whatever man every time they step in the store, they just ooze of the States and I liked it a lot. You have the older customers who talked endlessly because they had no one else to talk to. The regular customer who always stayed behind after he was done packing his items, to brag about his many voyages. The cute guy who came in at the same time, every saturday, buying the exact same stuff as last saturday, who stayed to talk for a while radiating his charm and then after a couple of weeks disappeared. I even had a crying kid who would come in always sobbing his eyes out. (He was like Oliver Twist, and I'm being really honest now, he would always count the coins in his pocket and every time more than half of it was spent he would sob a bit harder mentioning that his family's money was nearly gone. I actually saw his mother once and she looked like a junkie but was probably an alcoholic. I don't know what issues they had but I don't think the children were well in that home.) There were the kids who would shoplift, the alcoholics who needed more beer in the morning, the single working mom who kept telling me how her daughter was so alike me, the same guy who always bought the same packet of condoms with his red-flushed face. Then we have the odd young man who always made me think of Doofy Gilmore from Scary Movie. One day he followed me around the store and then cornered me to say how beautiful he thought I was. I was very flattered and thought about how much guts it had to take him to say that. He then disappeared and I continued working, but the next day he came back and what freaked me out was the way he watched me work and how he would stay behind to exchange some words. The final drop though was when he waited by the store after my shift ended, waved as he saw me on my way out offering to escort me home. That crosses the line...

Although I was freaked out by his behavior, I never saw him again and I had to quit that job anyways for education purposes. Lucky me! Now I work at another store, a bigger one with more people, less sobbing, more families and not so much sadness. We have a lot of regulars, none of them boasting, none of them uncomfortable beings - except for one. A guy in his 40's who to me always had some psychotic look in his eyes. I never really noticed him being around. Sure I recognized him but there are so many people, nothing special made me remember him precisely. The only thing that made me find him a bit different from the rest of the customers was his gentleman's ness. The frequent; "How are you today?" "I wish you a very pleasent evening/weekend." "I hope I'm not bothering you." "I hope you don't work yourself too hard." "Would I be helpful if I gave you this in change instead? I wouldn't want to burden you or cause you any trouble" followed with his constant nervous voice. And every time I'd ask him the question back (the how are you-question) it was as if his eyes radiated with a glow. I just figured him being a well raised man who has a hard time being social, until he (like the odd young man at my last workplace) followed me around and cornered me as soon as my boss left my side. And yes, he did it to say how beautiful he thought I was. Added in with explanations about the colors that I have blending in so nicely with my facial features, and how he had meant to convey this to me for a long time... I was flattered - but really, I freaked out so much on the inside!

The next time I saw him, I was getting back from my break and I wish I kept myself in the coffee room for a little while longer. He spotted me and left his place in the queue then came to my register instead blurting out the same questions (which I now got to know from my co-worker, that he doesn't ask anyone else at work - just me). I tried to be kind but not too much to make him think that I was comfortable with the situation. He tried talking about all sorts of things, asking me what razor I think he should buy, he tried finding out things about me and etc. Luckily my co-worker (who has noticed his way of treating me) came to "talk about important matters". As I asked her for change (en-kronor) he starts apologizing for giving me the money he gave since it took most of my change from the register. I got so mad and said in a bitter way "It's my job to have change no matter how much money you give me." After he leaves, my co-worker checks that I'm fine and not too freaked out by him. And within less than 5 minutes the guy shows up at my counter again(!) with a roll of one-crowns saying "I thought I'd make it up to you for the trouble I caused."

...WHAT THE FUCK!?

I'm not sure if he notices how inappropriate his behavior is, how much he's freaking me out and how uncomfortable he makes me feel with him around.

It feels like it's not long until he crosses a fine line...

Entering my second decade

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hopefully 2010 will be a better year for all of us. Not that 2009 had to be bad but everything can improve itself!

It feels strange entering my second decade, not that I've given it much thought. It's just that when you think about it - boy, I've been alive for quite some time now! Getting older, withering away very slowly, entering adulthood, gaining more responsibility, etc etc. Scary...

So New Years Eve was spent without family... for the first time. I felt a bit bad for leaving my mom alone. Not that I'm a cruel person who does what she wants leaving her mother in a dark flat all alone on New Years Eve. I just assumed that she was going to celebrate it with her friend(which I swear I heard her mention days before) and that I could detach myself and celebrate with my friends. Apparently she wasn't and I had packed my suitcase and was ready to leave when I understood that my assumption was wrong. I hesitated for a long time but

 then decided to go anyway - in hopes that she would still go celebrate with her friend (which I think she did, since she wouldn't answer her cellphone and since nobody was at home 20 minutes before midnight). 

Either way, I had a great time. I was with Louise and Mathilda. We had fun, we drank a bit and since the last time I really drank (not that we drank ourselves drunk) was like the whole graduation period, two glasses of champagne was sort of on the verge of knocking me out of balance. But only on the verge... What was funny was how we three got a bit bold while walking to see the fireworks and even more bold on the way home from the fireworks. Interesting things were said, daring encounters were waiting...

College or work? It should be obvious...

I recently opened my e-mail and found something interesting. It was a mail from studera.nu where they mentioned my application for the German course at SU. What I didn't understand was if I was accepted or not? I know that I desperately want to go back and study and that the German language is something that interests me greatly, but I fear that I have fallen into the comforts of having a job. Meaning; the fact that I actually have nothing special to do on my free-time, I get an income per month that is bigger than the studiestöd, I don't have to feel tied down to something at all, etc. 

I think that I have become what I didn't want to become and that was a person who starts with a gap year and ends up with gap years for the rest of her life. (However, I'm not at the "rest of my life"-part yet.) I thought about how this would affect my job. I don't know what hours the course covers, it's a 100% study tempo meaning that each class is mandatory (unless your sick of course - they can't force you then). I do have the night shifts though so I suppose that it should work out if I want it too. But still...

How would that blend in with work? And what do I say to my boss? I think it would be a short notice... What do I choose? Education of course! But it's not like it's a set program, it's only a semester of language. And there are things I want to save up for that I don't think I'll be able to if I study full time. What do I do and how do I solve this?

Mellandagsyra

Update!

Igår fyllde morn min år (eller iförgår, beror på vad bloggen kommer visa för dag). Hon fyllde 55 fastän hon ser typ ut som 45. I allafall, jag fixade en hyfsat fin frukost och gömde hennes present (den fyrhjuliga reseväska som hon tjatat om sen 2 år tillbaka) bakom hennes stol. Och precis som jag antog så blev hon väldans glad!

Efter frukosten följde jag med henne till jobbet på jakt efter hennes försvunna örhänge. Den är så sjukt vacker och det var en gåva från mina gudföräldrar. De har ofantligt bra smak! Varje paket de skickar är alltid en kreation av en finsk designer, oftast är de väldigt retro och de gåvor som jag får blir det som ska pryda mitt första (egna) hem. Hursomhelst, så "ransacked" vi igenom Danderyds Sjukhus och det var som att leta efter en nål i ett höstack - heeeelt hopplöst! 

Jag märkte att mamma blev lite deppig så jag bjöd henne på middag på resturangen Vapiano (ett nytt favvo ställe). Hon fick välja absolut vad hon ville och hon begränsade sig verkligen inte, vilket iförsig var bra och tanken med. Jag blev lämnad en ganska så stor nota, kanske inte det roligaste men hon förtjänade verkligen den uppvaktningen så det gjorde mig absolut inget.

Det roliga när mamma fyller år är att det är under mellandagsrean. Denna tid känner vi till som synonymerna kaos och galenskap. En massa folk på stan och alla går ihop som packade sardeller ner för Drottninggatan. Sedan ökar chansen att man stöter på folk man känner, växlar ord medans resterande sardeller knuffar sig förbi och slår in i en med diverse kassar av fynd. Oftast hittar jag en massa saker att fynda på men inte i år. Hittade lite granna, för det mesta så var det blusar. Mamma hittade en klänning, hon hittade rätt mycket så jag hängde med henne in till omklädningsrummen för att kunna ge lite tips och åsikter - men det slutade med att jag tog bilder på mig själv istället. (Unlike mommy, I actually dressed up for her birthday! Vill ju då ha en hyfsad bild på mig själv om jag ändå lagt ner tid och energi...) På sistone så har jag fallit in i en Elizabeth Bennet-fixation vad gäller frisyrer, det borde väl märkas på dessa bilder?

En sak som jag fyndade dock, som verkligen har blivit en favorit, är en slags flannel klänning som jag hittade. Lite konstigt skuren men snygg snygg snygg! Och mysig för den delen. Den har lyckats bli en ny favorit outfit som jag säkerligen kommer att ha sönder mig! Så pass mycket att jag aldrig kommer vilja ha flannel igen, hehe.

Jag är faktiskt ganska stolt över mig själv att jag inte ruschar åt mig en massa plagg och köper de bara för att. Jag väljer verkligen saker mer noggrant nu för tiden. Det ska vara något jag verkligen tycker om! Inga fler köp på sådant som jag kommer lessna på inom 3 veckor. Det blir så jobbigt annars, sen har man spenderat en hel del på plagg som man sedan ger bort eller lägger längst in i gaderoben. Det ska bli ett slut på överkonsumtion, och detta är ett sätt att börja det på!

Men en sak som (för mig) är svårt att inte överkonsumera på; är givetvis skor. Och något som jag behövde (helt ärligt!) var ett par vinter stövlar. Jag lyckades hittade ett par på Nilson (det stället jag alltid hittar mina skor på). Är däremot lite tveksam om färgvalet då de finns i svart också, och måste erkänna att de är lite svåra att få på. Jag kämpar och trampar in min fot (tydligen har jag ett för högt "vad-heter-det-nu-ben-grejs-på foten-var det valv-det-hette-kanske? enligt kassörskan) men kommer den in så kommer den in! Fashion is pain someone once said, vem vet jag inte... Tur att jag har öppet köp/ångerrätt på dem fram tills 10:e januari fastän de var på rea, så jag har väl en hel del tid att fundera vidare på det...

Bortsett från all shopping och firande så ser jag fram emot en mysig dag med två goda kompisar imorgon. Det blir pulka, skridskor, South Park-maraton, Borat och Bruno, komedier, mat, kakor, godis och en massa annat!

Lägenheten är städad, mitt rum rensad, kylskåpet påfyllt och nu ringer ugnsklockan för att påminna mig om att ta ut min morotskaka! 

Natti-natt! Dags att nussa... :)