You tell me

-- Mr. Bob Dylan, who was presented at our lecture today.

Happy Birthday to my blog who just turned one year old!

DAGENS I-LANDSPROBLEM: How I ended up staying in on a Saturday...

Right, so this is my first video-blog. And I do a premiere by whining about the probably cancelled building party and how I dressed up in vain. Enjoy! or ignore it and save 10 minutes of your life.

A Night Out

I haven't been out to a party in ages. I was out with Mathilda on our last night in Amsterdam but I'm counting the parties in the homecountry.

It really has been ages, and I'm actually scared and nervous this time. I'm usually not, and I always get excited and want everything to start as soon as possible; yet tonight the story is different. I'll be going to a party at Lappis on my own! I always have a wingman or two, but not tonight; I'm flying solo.
There will be Amnesty people there and we were going to try and meet up. I was also invited to a preparty at on of the girls' place. At the moment I'm really not in the mood to go to any of them but it should come to me when I sit on the train.

I also, can't keep myself away from socializing, I really need to put myself out there more. Especially now when most of the people I know are gone. I was supposed to study before leaving BUT my mother decides to change my schedule by asking me to go with her to Hornstull. We checked out some cupboards because she wants to redo everything in our kitchen. I really don't know why I had to go, because everything is anyway goign to be done her way and I really needed to study. And tomorrow I have half the day to study because I'll be working later.

I also met Liatrice today. A random voice just yelled out my name at the mall and I turn around and find Liatrice. It was really nice to see a familiar face, it feels like it's been a while...

Anyways, this chick is getting herself ready for tonights adventures. Let's hope I don't get home too late!




(Fixed and ready to go!)

--I am indeed, standing on our toiletseat.

Any given Friday

~it's the weekend!


Wow, what a week! I've been both unefficient as well as efficient.

The unefficient side is that I haven't been bothered to open and read all the chapters in all books for English I. Although "The Study of Language" with all the alveolar and stuff is slightly new or basically self-evident information just new fancy names/terms for it, is the only "rejuvenating" yet not so exciting book for me to read. The rest is like a re-run of grade 4 when we did our first projects and essays, teach me something new other than "how to write a paragraph" and I'm not so suprised that coherency and unity is important in a text. "The Study of Language" is also a re-run of English from my senior year. However, I wasn't so alert and managed to pass with an effortless A because of my one "great" essay. Yes, I probably didn't deserve it because of my lack of interest and commitment. And I think I've ended up in a new twin cycle of it... We'll see how I do with this course.
All I can say is that I appreciate the fictional literature books we read, as well as expanding my vocabulary with all the vocabulary exercises we have. I've also made some new friends; one which I actually really like and search for in the lecture halls. The smaller groups are a different question... I guess I'll leave it at that and just say that I haven't quite warmed up to them, let alone given it a real chance.

So my efficient side is my engagement in Amnesty! I'm so happy to be this active and actually trying to pull of a small campaign. If somebody would've told me that I'd this active and care so much after graduating from High School, before I actually graduated - I would never believe them. Before, I just wanted to mind my own business and do my thing. I was incredibly shy and wanted to just help/serve others than try and steer something on my own. Well suprise: Bianca has changed!
So I decided to try and do a small campaign to help ECPAT and the children across the globe who are victims of Commercial Sexual Tourism, for International Children's Day. I don't know how many organisations I've been calling around to and just hasseling them with information and help with my project.
A really cool thing I wanted to fix was a collaboration with Cinema Politica, make them screen a documentary about the main focus and try and inform, as well as enlighten, others about this particular issue. I think I can pull it off since I finally got two documentaries and a 13(!!!!) kilo heavy box filled with pamplets and inofrmative papers from ECPAT. Which - FYI - I needed to carry all the way home with my bare arms, and they figuratively felt like spaghetti-arms as soon as the weight came off of them.
I'm really hope that I'll pull this project/small campaign of mine off with great success! Or else it'll be very embarrassing.

Tonight I was out in town, Amnesty had a social event so that we all could get to know each other and relax a bit. It was really nice! We spoke about tons of stuff, a lot about Swedish history (which I then decided to zone out of), politics and education systems. We were at Gamla stan (Old Town) and sat outside at this cosy café that had such sweet coffee mugs. We sat and talked until it got dark and candles were everywhere. It was so nice, now one also made some more friends and apparently there was going to be a party tomorrow night at Lappis. I think we're all going, I know I am and I hope it'll be good. I guess my study-weekend took a sudden turn. Well, anything for a social life really. And also, anything for a great college life.

Bisous!

Recap on Amsterdam

~Okay, the blogger is back!

Was hab' ich gemacht?? Ja, ich war in Amsterdam! Toll!

Amsterdam. Has it's downsides, but has so many upsides (no, not talking about the coffeeshops or Red Light). I wasn't expecting much really. I'm just such a traveler, I want to explore and see places, be bewildered and gobsmacked by everything die Erde has to offer. I want to go back packing through the rest of Europe I haven't seen, sleep under bare night skies, walk along beaches, discover small sweet cities, FOOD CULTURE! Imagine all the things your palate hasn't discovered and touched and just completely devoured... Wow, I'm really getting off track!

Where was I? Right, Amsterdam. I really had low expectations, I wasn't prepared on falling in love with this city of canals. Everything so small and cosy, buildings' magnificent architecture, the sights, the vibes - I really fell in love.

I kept telling Mathilda that I wouldn't mind living there for a while. An apartment high up in a beautiful building, overlooking an idyllic canal with a quiet street. The dreams that came to me while walking through the city...

The top of the icing was Tuesday night when we went to a concert. Of course, I went to hear Modest Mouse. They are THE band, they hold all of my childhood memories, they're like my bread and wine. It was definitely a night I'd never forget. And I just keep on wanting to go back to it, all the time.

I really can't wait to be on the move to my next destination!

It's starting to feel lonely

It's been a while. I don't know how many of these posts I've started, then saved, then deleted. Lost inspiration, gained it, then lost it again. I can't write unless I feel like it. Yet it has been a while now and I suppose I can't leave it completely undated. So where to start..?

I'm starting to feel lonely. People start moving away to other places, obligations start to occupy all your time, you get cranky, you dream big and hope for better things. So! Two, or actually three, of my friends have all moved from the city. Two to the UK and one to the west coast. I'll miss them a lot, more now that they're not a tube-ride away. UK isn't that far but it's still in a different timezone, the west coast is in the same time zone just a different region.

I started crying at Ida's party when I hugged her before leaving. I felt a bit exaggerated just because I knew that she'll be in the same country and not the other side of the globe. Louise left yesterday and I managed to text to her as well as I could. The nice thing, that keeps me happy, is that I know that I'll be meeting her soon (in a month). Reunited with Helen too. And a funny thing is that it seems like everyone moved on the same day; Tuesday.

Okay, losing my thread here. Lately I've been taking friends' departings kind of bad, if not a tad, exaggerated. Why? I don't know. I've also started to miss people who parted from me before summer a whole lot more. Thought about them more, etc etc.

I once said that I usually adapt to any enviroment, and new enviroments, very well. I guess I grew apart from it. I don't adjust as well to new things anymore. I get a bit intimidated yet try to walk curagiously with it. It's all a sign of my fear of being left behind and alone.
I'm not completely alone, I still do have friends left in the city. Just not as many as before. Your large safety net disappears, you're a bit on your own, you're used to old patterns, you're finding your own way in your own time...

Some people seem to see their guidelines, as in; what to choose, how to get there, facing the fear, being superflously observant. I on the other hand, I walk blindfolded guessing my way to what I think I want. And the amount of friends, who used to be there to comfort and hold your hand, have diminished so that you feel alone.