It's starting to feel lonely

It's been a while. I don't know how many of these posts I've started, then saved, then deleted. Lost inspiration, gained it, then lost it again. I can't write unless I feel like it. Yet it has been a while now and I suppose I can't leave it completely undated. So where to start..?

I'm starting to feel lonely. People start moving away to other places, obligations start to occupy all your time, you get cranky, you dream big and hope for better things. So! Two, or actually three, of my friends have all moved from the city. Two to the UK and one to the west coast. I'll miss them a lot, more now that they're not a tube-ride away. UK isn't that far but it's still in a different timezone, the west coast is in the same time zone just a different region.

I started crying at Ida's party when I hugged her before leaving. I felt a bit exaggerated just because I knew that she'll be in the same country and not the other side of the globe. Louise left yesterday and I managed to text to her as well as I could. The nice thing, that keeps me happy, is that I know that I'll be meeting her soon (in a month). Reunited with Helen too. And a funny thing is that it seems like everyone moved on the same day; Tuesday.

Okay, losing my thread here. Lately I've been taking friends' departings kind of bad, if not a tad, exaggerated. Why? I don't know. I've also started to miss people who parted from me before summer a whole lot more. Thought about them more, etc etc.

I once said that I usually adapt to any enviroment, and new enviroments, very well. I guess I grew apart from it. I don't adjust as well to new things anymore. I get a bit intimidated yet try to walk curagiously with it. It's all a sign of my fear of being left behind and alone.
I'm not completely alone, I still do have friends left in the city. Just not as many as before. Your large safety net disappears, you're a bit on your own, you're used to old patterns, you're finding your own way in your own time...

Some people seem to see their guidelines, as in; what to choose, how to get there, facing the fear, being superflously observant. I on the other hand, I walk blindfolded guessing my way to what I think I want. And the amount of friends, who used to be there to comfort and hold your hand, have diminished so that you feel alone.