Lately I've been quite out of balance and I've been very distressed!
I've had a hard time finding time between my piano and work. Work that wasn't supposed to take over my life and free time.
All day long (these past days) I've been stuck behind a counter working pretty much the whole day. Its sucks! How many times haven't my bosses called me in on my free time to work, work, work! On my free time which I need so badly for my piano.
My energy just gets sucked out and they really don't feel bad about asking me to work all the time. I agreed to fill in for a pregnant lady and work like 50% but dammit this is like 89% and I'm not digging it!
Lately they've been calling me in like crazy and I've finally found the guts to say no. Tomorrow is my birthday and I'll be celebrating it with friends. Luckily my schedule shows that I'm free then. Although the day after I have to work. Well, we all know how teenagers party and I don't think that it would be a good idea to work the day after. For once, I actually asked them for a favour. A favour that I wouldn't ask again and that actually has a bloody good reason to why I should get the day off and they say no! Then I try to comprimise and ask: "well, how about if I'd start later like 2 or 3 pm?" No! the same response, noon is the only acceptable. Great! why not just give me my original time. Fantastic, and I actually agreed to it. Then my boss says that in order for that to work I have to do a favour to get a favour. What!? What freekin favour? Haven't all the times that I've cancelled my plans with friends and family for work been a freekin favour??? And all the extra times I've accepted for next week - aren't those favours as well? A big fat favour(!) and I should be free on saturday!
I was a good person on the outside and I kindly laid myself flat on the ground and allowed them to trample over me (an asset that is not benefitting for my pride) - while my inside was really reeking with dislike.
Not enough that they've asked me to work shit hours, they asked me to take more hours and naturally I accept. Just because I was so mad I asked what their reason for taking time off was and they mentioned a small vacation on the country side (which they visit often). Is that a better reason than my reason to celebrate my birthday?
Embarassed as one of them was, she said encouragingly "look on the bright side, you'll be earning a lot of money now". Yeah money's a really sunny side if you care about it that much. It's quite sad how money has taken over life nowadays. Everything is associated to it and it's the new synonym for pleasure and fun.
Life's a joke at times when priorities are so wrong in peoples eyes...

