Modern Day Machines

~experiencing a shooting


Imagine this...

You're walking in the sun, in the city. A safe neighborhood which you semi-grew up in because you went to school there your whole life. You're listening to your iPod on max, pondering on what to wear for tonight. You see two busses pulling up, you hear a small noise resembling a firecracker, you leave your thoughts for a second, a man in front of you runs along the street. You keep walking and have never stopped - more people run, but this time against you like a stampeed. You notice that you are alone on the street, your stomach takes a turn. You pull out one earphone and hear someone behind you yell, to someone hiding a bit further on, to run back to the end of the street. That person runs and tells you to run too. You're gone in mind. Then slowly comprehending what you've recently picked up by ear, you slowly turn your body around and follow them. Behind the corner in safety a couple speaks of blood, while others say gunshots. Someone got shot and all you think is "that could've been me".



What I'm telling you to imagine is what I experienced today. A shooting in Stockholm. It was so surreal, just like anything else this serious that I have ever encountered. I was at the same spot as a man got shot, I basically had front row seats. And what kind of makes me a bit speechless about it is that I could've come inbetween the firing. I wasn't far from it, and had I not by accident taken a detour from the park I would have been exactly between the man who dismissed the gun and his victim. Thank God for my mistaken detour!

I wonder if the body subconciously detects what is going on, because the part that I describe as your stomach turning, actually felt like a bullet had already hit you at that exact part of your body. You just aren't sure yet about what it is that is going on, so you dismiss it as your stomach turning. I only stayed at that spot with the others until the police came, then I left. I had somewhere to go to and a time to watch.

As I walk on the other side of the street to get somewhere, I wondered how come I didn't react as strongly as one of the other witness'. Why was I not traumatized and shocked and speechless? Have I grown immune? I must admit I have been through many serious and shocking experiences. I once was close to being punched by a nazi when I was twelve in the subway, and if my body didn't on the count of reflex dodge him, I could've ended up having some severe beatings. When I was young, I also saw a girl who was a meter away from me fall onto the tracks when the train I usually caught to school came. I saw how she fell, heard how she hit the trains windsheild and screamed as she fell and was run over by it. I've even experienced domestic violence. I've seen many people unconcious, so unconcious that peramedics were called for emergency. Or like today, I saw a graduate who was unconcious on the ground outside a department store, his friend speaking to the police as the peramedics where trying to get him in the ambulance. The rest of the graduating class were 5 meters away and kept on cheering and celebrating their graduation - so insensitive, selfish and cold... no care whatsoever. another thing that happened today was that two railroadworkers where run over by a commuter train. One died, while the other one only had his legs injured. For this to be a day of joy for all the HS-graduates... a lot of awful things have happened. Somehow it feels as if I'm next on the Grim reapers list, all of these horrible things I see. I wonder if I'm the only one who has seen so many awful things? Probably not, or I know I'm not but amongst my circle of friends it feels like it. Otherwise I suppose I'm more like one to speak out about what I experience.

The main part about why I'm writing this is due to my quick recovery. I wasn't in an enormous state of shock. I found a way to keep walking and to stay sane. I found a way to not get too obsessed with the fact that I could've gotten inbetween. And then two minutes later I pass another graduated class who are all peachy keen. Some drunk guys offered me to celebrate with them. I merely said no, and my mind added there was a shooting further down the street, just a couple of minutes ago. It was if the shooting never took place. I kept moving, getting on with my agenda - like a machine. Is that what has become of us? Is that why we no longer have a strong moral courage in our respective states? Is this why it keeps diminshing and we appear more selfish? Is it because we day by day, increasingly resemble machines?

We eat, we sleep, we work - we stick to our agenda. If anything gets in the way, we find a way around it - because we need to stick to our agenda. Our agenda is important to us, and it mustn't be disturbed.


Accidents happen everywhere, all the time. And when you end up in a situation as I did today, we remember our agenda to forget that we were minutes away from possibly malfunctioning...



Articles (they're basically all alike):
http://www.expressen.se/Nyheter/1.2012558/man-skadad-i-skottlossning-i-centrala-stockholm
http://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/article7246575.ab
http://www.dn.se/sthlm/man-gripen-efter-skottlossning-i-stockholm-1.1116912
http://www.svd.se/nyheter/inrikes/man-skjuten-i-centrala-stockholm_4820295.svd